Let’s take a break from the Twilight despair to get into some sexual produce.
They’ve been together a while now. They’re beautiful and fashionable and they’ve travelled the world. This sense of adventure extends beyond geography. After so many years, it would appear that these two are still super hot for each other.
At a party very recently, they wandered into the garden. They started kissing, rubbing, grinding. He went between her thighs...with his hands...and an accessory.
A cucumber.
In the garden.
At a party.
With a cucumber.
She enjoyed it.
They didn’t know at the time but there was an audience. When they figured that out they were obviously mortified. They’re a lot luckier than Kristen Stewart though. The evidence in this case will not be published.
Source
Where did they get the cucumber? What kind of party just has whole cucumbers lying around??