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Love is Blind, So Are These Items

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This diminutive Hollywood actor is a darling with critics and fans alike. No surprise there, he's been appearing in movies since he was a tyke and headlined a franchise with plenty of geek appeal. Though he's beloved by many, our little leading man tends to strike out with the ladies. You'd think they'd stare into those big blue eyes and fall head over heels, but alas that just isn't the case.

Perhaps that's why he's nursing a particularly intense crush on a certain boisterous music star. Celebs get crushes too and this one is a doozy. Is it the pink hair, the over the top costumes, or her famously pneumatic figure? Whatever it is, our boy is absolutely smitten and takes to buying up any and all merchandise associated with his loquacious lady love.

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But is it unfair of us? They’re not the only ones. Why am I so kind to the beloved gay actor who adores his wife, who is his life partner, while loving his serious boyfriend? In public they front like theirs is a legit hetero situation too. In that case they are honest in private. She knows, they all know, their friends know, an entire community knows, and no one is trying to suppress or change it; they just stop short of the press release.

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They're two of Hollywood's most sought after rising stars, beautiful girls with newfound box-office clout and bright futures. If you read the puff pieces in fashion rags you'll believe that these ladies have it all - designer clothes, sought after parts and of course handsome boyfriends. The PR spin would like to ignore the truth.

Fact is these two can't keep their hands off each other. What started as a drunken fling during awards season has become an on again, off again not quite relationship complete with X-rated texts and hacker ready camera phone shots. Not to mention the covert hookups whenever the gal pals are in the same city. Girl number one likes the attention (and the oral) but wants to keep things casual. Girl number two is ready for something serious and thinks this might be love - too bad her heavy handed handlers are eager to put an end to her sapphic shenanigans.

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Because of strict religious rules growing up, this male C list actor still has a lot of guilt about, er, self-pleasure. He recently told a source that he still can’t be with a woman for several weeks after he’s done it, because he still continues to feel so much shame.


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The camera loves Mr. Handsome - if only audiences felt the same way. After a string of domestic disasters, he's been feeling ready to throw in the towel & head back to his homeland - hunks have feelings too and being labeled box office poison doesn't sit well with anyone.

Lately it seems like porn is the only thing to cheer Mr. Handsome and as a result he's been watching more of it than is healthy. He sits in his apartment for hours scouring the internet for the strangest, most depraved things he can find - particularly if they involve balloons, or women crushing things beneath their heels and to think critics called him boring!

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She's pregnant and that should be a wonderful thing, only she's not so sure who the father is. Is it her doting husband or is it the lothario co-star she hooked up with while filming. Until she figures it out she's going to act like nothing is wrong, but the secret is killing her and friends are starting to notice her increasingly erratic behavior.

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For some actors more is more; particularly the flagrant chubby chasers who engage in publicity stunt relationship after publicity stunt relationship, but refuse to let their true desires come to light. There's nothing sexy about only agreeing to spend time with your real girlfriend when you're miles away from the paparazzi and no one is there to see, yet parading your latest faux-conquest in front of the whole world. Onlookers have always found something a little suspect about this dude's romances, but most assumed this was just another case of the celluloid closet. Turns out our guy is definitely a ladies man, but only the plus size need apply. Of course he's too cowardly to ever show this side in public - image is everything and with his star rising faster than ever Chub Lover is not taking any chances.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. BLESS.
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