8 reasons why it’s imperative that we DON’T encourage USA to become good at football

This World Cup has captured the imagination of the American public like no other in history, and we Brits seem to be generally of the opinion that this is a good thing – it isn’t.

While England shamefully sloped away from Brazil after finishing bottom of our group with just a single point, USA embarked on a rousing run to the last-16, where they narrowly lost to hotly-tipped Belgium after extra-time.

This run, which included knocking out Portugal in the group stages, has seen the US take football to its heart, with TV ratings hitting a record 24.7m – more than the recent World Series and NBA Finals.

However, although it’s nice to see our US-cousins finally realising what a rubbish sport baseball is, there are major concerns to consider when willing on America to embrace football…

While an occasional outburst of Americaness from Will Ferrell is great…

The rest of the time, it’s still pretty annoying

They’ve adopted a cheesy chant called ‘I believe that we will win’, which originated in Navy football back in 2003 (and was re-hashed for soccer fans in an ESPN ad).


Sooner or later, they’ll be convinced they invented chanting at ‘soccer’ matches.

Although this is a parody account, you know this is what they’re all actually thinking when a game is going on…

GOALSHOT! On the no bounce from Green! This soccer pie ain't baked yet! #USMNT

— Soccer Guy (@usasoccerguy) July 1, 2014

We know this because their commentators genuinely say stuff like ‘release the Kraken’ at free-kicks…

But more than anything, they’re becoming rather good…

While we, on the other hand, well…

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