Articles on this Page
- 01/23/13--15:28: _Rod Pulls a Reverse...
- 01/23/13--15:32: _“Honey, I Think I’m...
- 01/23/13--15:43: _Gilda's Club: Chapt...
- 01/23/13--15:56: _This Is A Blind Ite...
- 01/23/13--15:58: _Lilo's New "Lawyer"...
- 01/23/13--17:12: _Adriana Lima & Karo...
- 01/23/13--17:12: _Carrie Underwood - ...
- 01/23/13--17:13: _Downton Abbey Seaso...
- 01/23/13--17:13: _Our America with Li...
- 01/23/13--17:14: _LeAnn Rimes Debuts ...
- 01/23/13--17:19: _Basketball Players ...
- 01/23/13--17:27: _Jennifer Hudson Rev...
- 01/23/13--17:36: _What Your Favourite...
- 01/23/13--17:37: _Chely Wright & Laur...
- 01/23/13--17:37: _Is Queen ✩ Jessica ...
- 01/23/13--17:53: _Shia LaBeouf Droppe...
- 01/23/13--18:00: _The View talks defi...
- 01/23/13--18:00: _Gwyneth Paltrow Won...
- 01/23/13--18:47: _New "Side Effects" ...
- 01/23/13--18:47: _Bomb Girls 2x04: Gu...
- 01/23/13--15:28: Rod Pulls a Reverse 'Catfish': Were Nev and Max Too Easy On Him?
- 01/23/13--15:32: “Honey, I Think I’m A Cat”
- 01/23/13--15:56: This Is A Blind Items Post.
- 01/23/13--15:58: Lilo's New "Lawyer" Never Met His California Sponsor
- 01/23/13--17:12: Adriana Lima & Karolina Kurkova: IWC Schaffhausen Race Night Event!
- 01/23/13--17:12: Carrie Underwood - Two Black Cadillacs Music Video Premiere
- 01/23/13--17:13: Downton Abbey Season 4 Casting Scoop
- 01/23/13--17:14: LeAnn Rimes Debuts Punk/Retro Hairstyle On ‘Kimmel’
- 01/23/13--17:19: Basketball Players Get Their Karaoke On
- 01/23/13--17:27: Jennifer Hudson Reveals Fiance David Otunga’s New Nickname
- 01/23/13--17:36: What Your Favourite Star Wars Movie Says About You
- 01/23/13--17:37: Chely Wright & Lauren Blitzer – Pregnant with identical twins!
- 01/23/13--17:53: Shia LaBeouf Dropped Acid for Movie Role
- 01/23/13--18:00: The View talks definition of Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice
- 01/23/13--18:00: Gwyneth Paltrow Won't Let Cameron Diaz Have Sex
- 01/23/13--18:47: Bomb Girls 2x04: Guests of Honour
What happens when a man enlists MTV to help him track down his Internet girlfriend, but he's the one who's been lying in the relationship? The story of Rod and Ebony might not have been the most satisfying episode o Catfish, but it was certainly the most thought-provoking.
First things first: This was clearly the first episode Nev and Max filmed. The format wasn't nailed down yet, their research process wasn't as streamlined, and they weren't sure how much they should or shouldn't get involved in the confrontation aside from facilitating the meeting between the couple in the first place. Frankly, all the changes they've made as they finessed their process were all totally necessary, because this week felt like it was missing something.
Second things second:Someone's GIF'd Max and Nev working out in short shorts and tank tops, right? Asking for a friend.
And now to the actual episode: This is the first time our intrepid investigators agreed to help out a person who freely admitted to having deceived their online significant other for four years. (Kya doesn't count, because she'd already told Alyx, a.k.a. Dani, she'd been lying.) Halfway through the hour, Rod revealed that he'd only kept up his relationship Ebony because she was sending him money and paying his phone bills. How were we supposed to root for this guy?
Here's the lie count: Rod had used fake photos and a fake name, while Ebony wasn't actually transgendered (she's just a regular ol' natural-born woman who had dated women for 15 years) and hadn't told him she had a daughter. Although both of them hadn't told the truth, once Rod mentioned the money factor it was really hard to be on his side in the situation.
Max and Nev talked a lot about how they thought Rod was confused about his sexuality (something else they've cut out of subsequent episodes — why were they talking so much smack about their subject behind his back in the first place?) but that really seemed to help in coaxing Ebony to remain his friend. It also allowed her to admit why she'd lied in the first place and why she was giving Rod money — she really did have cancer, she was incredibly lonely in a new city, and she just wanted someone to talk to and to be her friend.
You hear so often about people faking cancer for sympathy from strangers online; who would've thought that she was telling the truth about that part? Maybe that's cynical, but this is a show about Internet liars. Aside from Ebony, who'd lied about the transgender thing, the only other person who's been telling the truth so far was Matt, who'd only hidden the fact that he'd gained a lot of weight over the years.
In the end, Rod and Ebony still talk multiple times a week but it didn't really seem like anything had been resolved as far as Rod's sexuality questions and about why he was catfishing in the first place. Ebony revealed why she'd lied, but why didn't they make Rod confess too? He might've been the one who enlisted Nev and Max's help, but he was just as guilty as Ebony was.
What did you think of Rod and Ebony's story? Did the unrefined format throw you off? Were Max and Nev too easy on Rod? How would you have reacted in Ebony's situation?
I looked through the tag and couldn't find anything about this weeks episode... so there you go
I’ve fallen down an internet k-hole these past few days that I’m not sure I’ll ever crawl out of. My topic of interest? People who think they are real animals or imaginary beings trapped in human bodies. They call themselves “otherkin.” Or more specifically in the case of people who think they are animals, “transspecies.” Because a nice girl and a mean lady are fighting in me always, I find it equal parts sad and hilarious.
Like legitimately marginalized communities, they like to hang out on the internet, especially Tumblr. Here is a fairly thorough explanation of the “possible” causes of the otherkin identity. Here is an excerpt from the “about me” page of a popular otherkin Tumblr called “Transcats“:
I was born a cis female human to a family of humans living in America. Growing up, I always had a close connection to cats. I could identify with them in ways that I couldn’t with anybody else. Even as a small child, I believed with all my heart that I was no different than my house cat. Being with cats, I felt more at home than I ever have with a human. There existed an unspoken understanding between us that reassured me that I was not alone.
From the time I could crawl, I have always carried instinctual urges towards cat behavior. Perhaps it was during those years that I felt most aligned with my spirit, before my legs began to betray me and force me upright. At first, standing up felt extremely unnatural and I still don’t think I have ever fully adapted to being so far above ground. However, being raised by human parents, I was made to believe I was a human too, regardless of how I felt inside.
So I grew up as a human and tried my hardest to keep my cat urges under control. I figured I just really liked cats and for the most part lived a functional life.
It wasn’t until I was 18 years old that I met my spirit sister and discovered my otherkin.
When I was 18, I was walking around my neighborhood one day when I crossed paths with a cat. Normally this wouldn’t be an unusual event, but this time it was different. We just stopped and stared at each other. I knew this cat. I knew everything about her. I was her.
Their explanation for their animal nature varies; some, like this one, believe they somehow switched bodies with an animal at birth, while others believe their animal nature comes from having been an animal in a previous life. Others, like the dragon people, believe their wings and such exist in a different dimension, as there are no dragons around on this plane for them to have switched with. Nearly all of them subscribe to a New Age pastiche of spiritual beliefs, adapted, of course, for the special needs of a new generation of internet dufuses.
Because this person is a cat, she needs to sleep a million hours a day in between being fed and watered by her parents:
My parents allow me to live at home and they take care of me. Since I’m a cat, it’s very hard for me to hold a normal job or go to school, so they accommodate my needs. They’re not very accepting of my spirit sister though – so we get into fights a lot when she comes home with me. I just told her to come up to my bedroom window from now on.
This poses some problems, though, as she is over the age of 18, and as such, her parents kind of hoped she’d be moving towards independence by now. Much of the blog focuses on the conflicts that this causes, and the utter injustice of a transspecies individual being forced to live in a human world.
Reading this blog inspires many feelings in me. On the one hand, I feel bad for this girl, because I’m fairly certain she has a mental disorder that requires treatment she is not getting. On the other, it’s hard not to laugh at passages like this one, wherein her family forces her to take a shower:
I scrambled to run out of my room and as soon as I reached the hallway, my dad and my sister grabbed me and pushed me into the bathroom and held the door shut.
I have never been so upset and confused in my whole life. I wailed and banged on the door and just asked them WHY over and over.
Then I heard my mom talking through the door. She said that no one was going anywhere until I took a shower and that I would be trapped until I pass her inspection.
I hate being told what to do and I was already really angry from being scared half to death, so I curled up on the floor and howled, refusing to give them what they wanted.
After five minutes, I tried to open the door again but they were still there. I pleaded with my dad, but he kept saying to just shutup and take the damn shower.
I realized I had lost this battle. So I anxiously turned on the shower and made myself go inside. I washed my hair and combed it. I put their awful smelling human soap all over me. I did everything my mother demanded of me.
When I was done, my mom handed me new clean clothes through the door. They won. My parents broke me today.
Do you hear that? THEY BROKE HER.
Here’s the thing about cats, and I say this as someone who likes cats: they’re assholes. They are selfish, lazy, amoral creatures who would almost definitely eat us if they could figure out how to grow to human size. A cat would never put someone else’s needs before their own. Why would anyone want to be like that? A few more posts in, I’m starting to feel like a fucking republican. “Get a job, cat!” I am thinking. “You are not oppressed. You are insane.”
And maybe that’s the real issue I have with this: cockamamie spiritual beliefs are your right, until they interfere with the rights of others. Like the rights of your parents to not have to take care of a perfectly able-bodied and articulate child until they die. If this is a disorder, it’s not her fault. But if it’s a constitutionally protected religious belief, as some people would like to frame it…it doesn’t pass the the test. Not in my book. Maybe it’s not as bad as, say, human sacrifice, but it’s still not okay.
It also reads like a parody of identity politics; I wouldn’t be surprised if Transcats turned out to be a conservative troll bent on discrediting actual social justice movements. “Transspecies” sounds a little too much like “transgender” for my liking, and she often talks of “human privilege” in the language of the movement: “Whether you like it or not, if you were born in a human body in alignment with a human mind, you have privilege.” If someone can say they are a man trapped in a woman’s body, why not a cat, or a dragon?! Well, because gender is a fluid and socially constructed concept that leaves much room for interpretation. Species, not so much. Let’s not compare apples to oranges.
This isn’t new; here is a Village Voice article from 2001 on the subject, and here is a New York Observer story on someone who did, in fact, turn out to be trolling. I think I’ll leave you with this quote from said troll and a few links; descend down the (trans)rabbit hole if you dare.
Consider the following. You have created a community in which someone can claim to be an autistic pangender asexual demiromantic trans-Asian cat otherkin and not be immediately denounced as a troll. Whether you think these identities are valid or not, you find it plausible that someone would believe they are a Korean cat with autism and appropriate social justice terminology to defend that belief. What does that say about the state of your community? (And that’s not even starting on the people who actually supported us).
I find it so utterly absurd that a movement whose original purpose was to defend the rights of POC, trans* individuals, and other oppressed groups has been co-opted by people who believe they are dragons or that they have Homestuck characters living inside their head. It’s hilarious to me. It’s also incredibly offensive. I think what happened is that the SJ movement’s message of acceptance was somehow generalized to mean that if you don’t accept everything,you are a bigot —and the outcasts of the internet, the furries, the soulbonders, latched onto that, because they had finally found a place where no one could make fun of them. A “safe space”, if you will.
But it’s completely stupid (tw: ableism) and it trivializes the struggles of people who actually suffer from oppression (people laughing at you on the internet is not oppression).
Otherkin.net (this is the messageboard I got my title from)
WARNING: you may waste many hours of your life bummer-reading about this.
Back in November, a chapter in Madison, Wisconsin announced it was dropping Gilda's name from its title, because younger patients didn't know who she was. Instead, officials said the club would be renamed the 'Cancer Support Community Southwest Wisconsin.'
Well now, the Madison chapter has changed its mind and has decided to keep Gilda's name afterall.
In a statement, the organization's executive director, Lannia Stenz, said "Over the past few weeks we've heard from so many passionate voices about how important Gilda Radner's legacy is to our members affected by cancer."
"While we were never going to remove Gilda's likeness from our walls nor her spirit from our mission, it became clear that however well intentioned, the decision to change the name of our club was not the right decision for our community."
The group's board of directors voted unanimously to keep the name'Gilda's Club Madison', according to board chair Wayne Harris.
The proposed name change sparked a lot of criticism online, as well as emails and calls to the charity urging it to keep Radner's name.
"We started receiving emails right away," Stenz told the Associated Press.
"For the most part it was simply asking `Why did you do this? Please reconsider.' It was really, truly passionate feedback. We had some people who were angry but at the base of everything it was the love of Gilda and her story."
Radner was one of the great comedians of her time and a legend on 'Saturday Night Live' (pictured with John Belushi & Chevy Chase). She created iconic characters such as 'Roseanne Roseannadanna' and 'Baba Wawa', based on Barbara Walters.
Radner died in 1989 of ovarian cancer. But through it all, she dealt with her disease with dignity and laughter. After she was diagnosed, Radner said she now had a "membership to an elite club I'd rather not belong to."
That inspired the name Gilda's Club - a series of homes for cancer patients that was founded in 1991, two years after she passed away. "It really struck a chord with folks and all of us agreed we want people to come to Gilda's and get the help that they need," Harris told AP.
"If this is what it takes to make that happen, we're all as a group happy to make it happen."
They only mention one branch, but I'm hoping that others will follow suit. Can't tell you how happy this makes me!
2.) This former almost A list all movie actor has had a hard time getting much work in the past couple of years. Did I mention he is in the closet to the public so hard that he would freak out if there was any light at all coming in? Probably one of the more famous beard relationships in Hollywood. No longer seeing his long time boyfriend, our actor now uses the services of two Thai guys when he needs umm, some stress relief. Problem is he needs to go to their massage shop to get it and one of these days someone will talk or release what must be some CCTV video.
3.) This very recent reality star is already making demands and acting like a diva. Apparently she thinks she is the biggest star on a reality show despite her not being in anything ever before and is driving everyone crazy. When someone pointed out the long entertainment history of one of the cast members, our recent star said, "But what has she done lately? Everyone knows me."
4.) This actress is starting to make a name for herself. A big name. Went from C list to just about an all A list movie actress in a very short time. Some of her actions lately though have everyone concerned that she is going off the rails. She had been hanging out with another almost A list movie actress who is about her same age and that actress got her hooked on smoking. Not really blind item worthy although her parents are apparently anti-smoking fiends. This probably leads to the smoking a cigarette with a fork so she does not get her hands or fingers stained. I saw a kid doing that on the street the other day. Is this a new trend? Did I miss the silverware becoming a cigarette holder memo? Anyway, our actress also started going to parties and ended up meeting a 30 something producer who is well over twice the age of our actress. Yeah, I have no idea why he would want a tweener either. Probably can't get it up and thinks she won't care. He has been traveling internationally with our actress. Not with her, but on the same itinerary and they sneak around when they can. She missed a photo call recently because she was holed up in his hotel room and told her parent that she had been walking the city and lost track of time. He also introduced her to coke. Just a little bit and apparently she is in love with it. Such promise and something bad is going to happen unless someone steps in. Problem is she is a huge meal ticket for the parents.
5.) What former A list reality star was at Sundance offering herself up for interviews with any media outlet that would take her? There were no takers. None. Publicists were begging, but no one wanted anything to do with the former hated reality star.
6.) This B-/C+ list actress on a maybe hit network show who made her fame doing something else hired a pap this week to follow her shopping in hopes of getting noticed by store personnel and picking up free stuff. It worked, but not as well as she hoped. She wanted a $4000 bag, but the store would only discount it, so she passed. They did give her a few hundred bucks worth of free stuff.
Lindsay Lohan's new lawyer has never met ... never even spoken to the lawyer who is sponsoring him to represent the actress in a California criminal court ... this according to the sponsor herself.
We broke the story ... New York attorney Mark Heller has filed legal docs for permission to appear in a California court -- where he is NOT licensed to practice law -- to handle Lindsay's lying-to-cops case. To win that permission, he needs a California lawyer to sponsor him.
With more than 200,000 lawyers in CA, Mark chose one who has been an inactive member of the State Bar for 17 years. Her name is Lindsay Berger Sacks, and she became an active member last week -- days before Heller filed paperwork to represent Lohan in court.
We spoke with Berger Sacks, and she told us she has never had a single contact with Heller. Berger Sacks -- who seems like a very smart and charitable lady who says she has never practiced law a day in her life (and that's to her credit) -- told us she was actually contacted by an attorney who has worked closely with Heller in the past, Peter Toumbekis, a good friend of hers since Jr. High. Berger Sacks told us she believed she was vouching for Toumbekis, not Heller.
But here's the deal ... Toumbekis didn't sign the paperwork to appear in the Lohan case -- Heller did, and what's more Berger Sacks signed the same paperwork with Heller's name on it.
So if Berger Sacks didn't know Heller yet only his name was on the paperwork, why did she sign it? Berger Sacks husband -- who is also a lawyer -- tells us Heller's law firm is referenced in the paperwork and Toumbekis is working with the firm and will even appear at next week's hearing. But the fact is ... it's Heller, not Toumbekis, who is asking for permission to rep Lohan.
This trial's gonna be interesting.
mess. she needs no counsel, just throw her in for 5 years and check up on her l8r imo.
Adriana Lima blows kisses at the cameras while attending the IWC Schaffhausen Race Night Event during the Salon International de la Haute Horlogerie 2013 at Palexpo on Tuesday (January 22) in Geneva, Switzerland.
The 31-year-old model was joined by Matthew Fox, Ewan McGregor, Karolina Kurkova, Eric Dane, and Rebecca Gayheart.
Earlier in the day, Adriana and Karolina posed together while visiting the IWC booth.
Unless you want to risk doing a spit take with your afternoon tea, American fans of Downton Abbey may want to skip over this story. The rest of you, however, will be keenly interested to learn that, in Season 4, Lady Mary will be getting a new…
Last chance to look away!
As you may have heard — certainly if you’re overseas — Dan Stevens, aka Matthew, bowed out of the hit series at the end of the third season. And, since Lady Mary wouldn’t be Lady Mary without a gentleman by her side,the show is looking for a (naturally!) handsome thirtysomething actor to come courting as Lord Anthony Gillingham.
From what we gather, her would-be suitor is not only a looker, he also has a winning personality. (So winning, in fact, that there’s already talk that he could return for Season 5!)
Abbey EP Gareth Neame told TVLine in a recent interview that Steven’s exit created a “dramatic opportunity” for Michelle Dockery’s alter ego, adding, “In any relationship drama, the will-they-or-won’t-they is always more interesting than married couples. So actually what we’ve been able to do is reset [Lady Mary]. She has to start again, and that will be much more interesting.”
What do you think? Could any chap ever replace Matthew? And if so, who? Since the show is likely to hire a Brit, Henry “Superman” Cavill comes to mind. And so does Orlando Bloom. But, given their movie-star status, they might be a bit pricey, even for the Crawleys.
OP Note: Post your casting suggestions!
For the first time in U.S. history, our youngest generation is expected to live a shorter life than their parents as a result of childhood obesity. Lisa Ling meets families who are struggling to help their children lose weight in order to survive.
Tune in for an all-new episode of Our America with "Generation XXL" on Tuesday, January 29th at 10/9c, only on OWN.
how did everyone like last night's show?
Tired of hearing LeAnn Rimes discuss her ongoing feud with husband Eddie Cibrian’s ex Brandi Glanville? Okay, we are, too—but that said, we still enjoyed seeing Rimes on Jimmy Kimmel Live Tuesday night.
No, Rimes did not refrain from discussing Glanville—she did plenty of that. However, she did provide visual interest with a new hairstyle, one that we’ve never seen the singer sport before.
Best described as a pompadour (of sorts), the slightly punkish/retro ‘do called to mind a look that Gwen Stefani, Pink, and most recently Miley Cyrus has rocked on the red carpet—definitely a departure for the country star, who usually wears her blond locks in a beachy, natural flow and rarely experiments with radical hairstyles.
Don’t worry, though. It was clear that—unlike Cyrus—Rimes didn’t crop her hair to achieve the new style. The back of her hair was visibly rolled up and pinned.
Rimes was appearing on Kimmel to promote her upcoming release, Spitfire, which will hit stores April 9. The singer has been performing songs from the album live, as well as talking about her writing process and thoughts behind them.
In addition to discussing Glanville and her new music, she defended fellow vocalist Beyonce, who was accused this week of lip-syncing at the 2013 Presidential Inauguration. “I’m actually taking up for her on this one, “ Rimes said, noting that sometimes singers are asked to do so for various reasons.
NBA Champ + MVP + Olympic Gold Medalist
Invites You In
LeBron, Wade & Heat ‘Sing’ The Hits
Two weeks ago, videos like the one above touting Battioke began circulating the NBA blogosphere. What exactly is Battioke? It’s a Jan. 21 event at Miami’s Eden Roc Hotel on Miami Beach, hosted by none other than Heat forward Shane Battier as part of his Take Charge Foundation, which helps furthering education for at-risk students.
Nothing quite like watching your favorite Miami Heat stars belt out the hits, especially after last season’s event which saw LeBron James sing (and we use that term loosely) Rick James‘ “Superfreak” as well as a truly eardrum-shattering version of The Temptations’ hit, “My Girl,” by Heat boss Pat Riley.
Welp, this year’s Battioke has come and gone and the videos are starting to pop up. James gets into the act this year by trying his hand at Michael Jackson‘s “Rock With You”. As a bonus treat, a fan gets serenaded by both he and fellow Heat star Dwyane Wade (replete with shades and fake sideburns a la Elvis) as they try their hand at Shai‘s “If I Ever Fall In Love”.
If that’s not enough for you, we’ve also got newly signed center Chris Andersen and 3-point shooter Mike Miller giving it the old Battioke try on Vanilla Ice‘s 1990s classic, “Ice, Ice Baby”:
These vids likely won’t sway your opinion of the Heat one way or the other, but one thing is certain: these guys are awful singers.
PARK CITY, Utah -- Jennifer Hudson’s fiance, David Otunga, is joining the family business – heading into feature films in “The Call,” and the Oscar-winning actress said Hollywood should look out.
“We call him ‘Curtains,’ because when he got the role he was like, ‘Curtains for everybody!’” Jennifer told Access Hollywood as she promoted her upcoming film, “The Inevitable Defeat of Mister and Pete,” at the Sundance Film Festival, in Park City, Utah, on Thursday night.
“He’s so excited,” she continued of WWE star David’s new role. “I can’t wait to see the film… He’s super excited about the project coming out and he got to play an officer in ‘The Call.’ I just got to see the preview for it… Look out, curtains for everybody!”
Jennifer will follow up her Sundance trip with one to Washington, D.C., where she confirmed she’ll performer as part of President Barack Obama’s second inauguration.
The Grammy winner revealed she will be singing, “Let’s Stay Together” at the Inauguration Ball.
“I’m getting it ready,” she said. “It’s Obama – [it’s] one of his favorite songs,” she said.
FYT ONTD ^_^
Though it’s become less of a truism every year, relatively few movies garner enough support (read: money) to warrant development into a franchise, and the ones lucky enough to spawn a sequel usually find their success short-lived, if at all. Once the weekend box office wheat is further separated from the chaff, only the most beloved, repeatedly successful of franchises ascends to the status of cultural icon. By the time a property can claim such a title, it’s among very exclusive company, a first class-flying, summa cum laude-repping, VIP room-dwelling bunch, including the likes of Indiana Jones, James Bond, and the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise.
And once these champions have clawed their way out of obscurity, up to the zenith of the entertainment world, they can sit back, relax, and crane their heads upward to see Star Wars waving at them from another planet. There’s simply no overstating how big Star Wars is, both financially, and culturally. It not only provided a gateway to science fiction and fantasy for millions of people the world over, but also fundamentally changed the business of filmmaking. And that’s just the movies; its influence has spread to the point where the phrase “Expanded Universe” is disturbingly close to literal, with enough Star Wars-branded books, TV shows, video games, toys –hell, even Snuggies- to fill the contents of a small forest moon.
It’s so big, Disney shelled out $4 billion just so they could make three new movies. That’s almost the exact same amount they spent on the entirety of Marvel Entertainment; in other words, Disney paid as much for Star Wars as it did Spider-Man, all the X-Men, and The Avengers combined. Star Wars shouldn’t even be uttered in the same breath as some of these other franchises; it’s not just out of their league, it’s out of their plane of existence. Star Wars doesn’t hang with 007 and Captain Kirk in the cultural Champagne room: it is the Champagne room.
It is Kirk’s tight-fitting shirt, and Bond’s smug sense of self-satisfaction, an infinitely perpetuating Ouroboros of cinematic, financial and cultural existence. It is Alpha and Omega, with everything in between an endless cascading flurry of special effects, and lucrative merchandise. Were you to peer into the very soul of blockbuster filmmaking itself, your only thought would be “My god, it’s full of Star Wars,” before you’re swiftly devoured by the Lucas leviathan, your screams muffled by the overwhelming swell of a John Williams soundtrack. This isn’t just a film franchise: it’s an institution.
All of which is to say that actually picking a favourite Star Wars movie is tougher than you might think. Having been split across two very different periods and generations, the core hexalogy, despite covering roughly the same timeline and cast of characters, comprises a wide array of genres, influences, and styles. And while art does not define the appreciator, the appreciator’s experience with said art determines their love of it. As such, our top scientists have perfected a test for guessing what your favourite Star Wars film says about you, and it has a 100% success rate (in that reading the test will result in a guess at what your personality is like 100% of the time).
So, time to find out: Does your love for scruffy-looking nerd-herders still burn bright? Is your fandom a sad devotion to an ancient religion? Did you even get either of those references? See for yourself!
1. Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)
The Movie: Do I even have to tell you? If you haven’t seen the movie in 30 years – hell, if you haven’t ever seen it, period – it doesn’t matter. You know the story of A New Hope, because it is the story: an average nobody has a great destiny thrust upon them, and with the help of a wizard, a few friends, and his own hidden inner strength, the hero defeats the dark overlord, saves the kingdom, and rescues the princess.
Lucas took Joseph Campbell’s idea of the monomyth, and used it like a mad libs outline, plunking archetypes and story points into place like he was setting up a game of Monopoly… which is probably where the inspiration for Monopoly: Star Wars came from, actually. The only risky flourish Lucas adds is in having the gall to make the one normal sounding name in the series a loose copy of his own. Doesn’t matter how blatantly simple it all is, because it worked like gangbusters (460 million 1977 dollars worth of gangbusters). A New Hope is entertainment at its absolute essence: raw, uncut, Bolivian-grade storytelling, just with cooler special effects.
What It Says About You: Your favourite element of the franchise is the universe itself, and A New Hope captures all the parts that matter: the rebels, the Empire, the Force, lightsabers, the Death Star – everything important to the galaxy far, far away is right here. You get teary-eyed every time Luke looks out at the setting Tatooine suns, and cheer when Han shows up to save the day during the rebel assault.
A New Hope reminds you of when Star Wars was an exciting new galaxy full of adventure, just waiting to be explored, a time before Jedi religious philosophy, trade negotiations, and merchandise sales outweighing the sanctity of the story. Watching the Special Editions is like seeing The Mona Lisa through an Instagram filter. Altering perfection is an affront to art itself, and A New Hope belongs in a museum (incidentally, you think Raiders of the Lost Ark is the only Indiana Jones movie that matters).
Favourite Star Wars Accessories: None. A New Hope is fine scotch: best enjoyed straight, by itself, and not watered-down.
Soundbite: “Han shot first!”
Favourite Movies: The Matrix, Back to the Future
2. Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
The Movie: Empire takes the basics from A New Hope, and blows them up ten-fold, providing a deeper exploration of the galaxy’s conflict, setting, and players. It was such a huge trendsetter for blockbuster filmmaking, that its innovations have become cliché by virtue of everybody deciding to copy them. The primary example of how to successfully upgrade a one-off hit into a full-blown franchise, Empire is the dark middle chapter to end all dark middle chapters, complete with an awesome cliffhanger.
Remember that? When a cliffhanger would actually make you excited about spending more money on something you love? The battle of Hoth, Han getting frozen in carbonite, and the dramatic revelation of Luke’s parentage haven’t lost their impact even thirty years later, probably because most everyone agrees this is the best written, best directed film of the bunch (sorry, George). It’s got everything: suspense, laughs, action, even a swoon-inducing love triangle… which Return of the Jedi deciding to make weird and confusing.
What It Says About You: Your favourite thing about the Star Wars universe is the characters, and by Empire, they’re all present and accounted for (Admiral Akbar does not count). You love the introductions of Yoda and Lando, but it’s the evolution of Luke and the gang from stock cutouts to actual people that’s most memorable, with Han’s sacrifice at the end confirming he had carbonite cojones to begin with. The high adventure from A New Hope is still here, but it’s more complicated, mature, and satisfying, which is how you like your entertainment to be.
It doesn’t matter that the story is incomplete; the journey is more important than the destination, and Empire is the journey that made Star Wars into an everlasting icon… too everlasting, as it turns out. You’re the first to point out how terrible the prequels are, and it doesn’t matter how much of Disney’s money he gives to charity (as it turns out, almost all of it), Lucas is still a hack who wants nothing more than to ruin your childhood. The only reason you have to watch the other movies is to come up with an explanation for how Luke learns to be a Jedi in the time it takes most people to get a library card.
Favourite Star Wars Accessories: Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn trilogy, Shadows of the Empire for the N64
Soundbite: “Actually, Vader never says ‘Luke, I am your father.”
Favourite Movies: The Dark Knight, Terminator 2: Judgment Day
3. Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983)
The Movie: Picking up where Empire left off, Jedi sees Luke starting to understand the appeal of the dark side (lightning powers, black leather gloves), while Han and Leia lead the rebels in a desperate final battle against The Emperor’s fleet. Jedi returns to the franchise’s roots, starting in Tatooine, and ending with a showdown at the Death Star 2.0. A tribe of adorable, easily marketed bear cubs, called Ewoks, join the ensemble, unwittingly becoming pioneers in the proud tradition of “Worst Things in Star Wars.”
Along the way, we bid farewell to Jabba, Yoda, The Emperor, and Vader, in an emotional, but triumphant swan song for the saga. Good defeats evil, love blooms on the battlefield, and it all ends with everybody partying it up Ewok-style. It’s a textbook happy ending, provided you’re willing to ignore the massive power vacuum left by The Emperor’s death, and the depression Luke faces in the wake of losing a father and a lover. But it’s not like Star Wars has ever been about politics and hormones. Could you even imagine what that would be like?
What It Says About You: Every time some geek gets worked up over the Ewoks, you have to stifle a laugh. So what if the Care Bears save the day? At what point was the franchise that named its mystical energy source, “The Force,” supposed to be taken seriously? Blockbusters are meant to be entertaining; you don’t get how someone can hate speeder bike races and cute fuzzballs, but love 20 minutes of swamp yoga with Kermit the Frog’s great-grandfather.
This series is about having fun, something Empire forgot when trying to cover up the innate ridiculousness of Star Wars, and starting the awful trend of people mistaking “darker” for “better.” The story is what’s most memorable to you, and Jedi wraps it all up in a neat little bow. You think Wicket and his bear buddies are fine, and probably laugh more often than you should at people saying, “it’s a trap!” You still have the occasional sex dream involving a gold bikini, and you’re totally cool with that.
Favourite Star Wars Accessories: Official Return of the Jedi popcorn bucket, and complementary collector’s cup from Burger King
Soundbite: “The prequels might suck, but at least now I’m taking less stick for liking Jedi.”
Favourite Movies: Roger Moore-era Bond, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
4. Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)
The Movie: Sixteen years after closing the book on the original trilogy, Lucas returned to his masterwork to tell the origin stories of Darth Vader and Obi Wan. Seeing as Star Wars barely qualifies as science fiction, it’s not surprising that he underestimated the risks that come travelling back in time. The alterations to the original canon were drastic: Jedi were no longer mystical knights, they were U.N. peacekeepers, saving trade deals instead of princesses. Darth Vader’s childhood turned out to be just as embarrassing as your average audience member’s, but with the added backstory of being Space Jesus, because otherwise his rise to prominence in the galaxy would just be unrealistic.
And the Ewoks? They just stared at audiences with those black, lifeless eyes, cackling amongst themselves as the crown of “Worst Thing in Star Wars” passed from an entire species, to a single Jar Jar Binks. Lucas scrapes together a few cool new characters like Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul, but then decides to kill them off during the finale, just to twist the knife a little bit further. Original Star Wars fans were not amused.
What It Says About You: You don’t give a womp rat about what the old school fans say is proper Star Wars, or even care to find out what a womp rat is for that matter – this is the best of the “good” Star Wars trilogy. You don’t get how people who saw the old movies when they were kids can turn around twenty years later, and complain that the new movies “aren’t for them.”
Yeah, you don’t waste any energy trying to defend Jar Jar, and the Trade Federation stuff is pretty boring, but who cares, Phantom Menace is a really exciting space epic. And it looks amazing… or did, anyway. You haven’t seen it in a while, but the memories are all still there: the pod-race, the big battle between the Gungans and the droids, a DOUBLE-BLADED LIGHTSABER. Let the geeks and old fogies argue about midi-chlorians – this is the Star Wars movie for you.
Favourite Star Wars Accessories: Pod Racer for the N64, Darth Maul Halloween mask
Soundbite: “Yeah, the first Star Wars is pretty good. Wait, who are Han and Luke? No, I’m talking about the first one, duh.”
Favourite Movies: Transformers, I Am Legend
5. Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002)
The Movie: After the surprising (which is a nice way of saying vitriolic) reaction to Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones had extra incentive to try and be the Empire of the prequels. It’s got the darker tone, a more prominent romance, an open ending, and even a chase through an asteroid belt. Too bad Lucas wasn’t the one responsible for making all those things work the first time, as his choice to double down on the love angle proves to be the entire film’s undoing.
Attack of the Clones whiplashes between Anakin channeling his sexual frustration into sand poetry, and Obi Wan pretending he’s in a Blade Runner reenactment… which is actually more like a pre-enactment when you think about it. The whole thing would have been a giant, orange turd were it not for the straight twenty minutes of fan service at the end. Even after the climactic bacchanal of lightsabers and Yoda action, original Star Wars fans were still not amused.
What It Says About You: Let’s level here: you’re probably still peeved with your parents for making you wait in line for two hours to go see another one of these things, even though you hated the first one. You say it’s your favourite just to spite them, and the experience led you into a life of rage-baiting geeks that try to alienate you for not being a die-hard about stuff like Alien and Die Hard.
You’re not trying to be a douche about it (well, not completely) – you just like to make sure fanboys keep things in perspective. When someone calls your bluff, and forces you to watch Attack of the Clones, you frequently mention how well written the dialogue is, and your belief that Padma and Anakin are the greatest love story of a generation. Looks of confused disgust, and impotent rage are more than worth your time and commitment to this belief. You’ve caused at least one aneurysm.
Favourite Star Wars Accessories: Howard the Duck, VHS of The Star Wars Holiday Special
Soundbite: “Just think: if it weren’t for Attack of the Clones, studios wouldn’t have known that a really good movie romance is all it takes to sell a movie. Without it, we might never have gotten Twilight! Is your nose bleeding?”
Favourite Movies: Batman and Robin, Spider-Man 3
6. Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)
The Movie: It’s faint praise to call it the best loved of the prequels, but Sith is more than just the king of the kiddie table. This is the one where Lucas wised up, realizing the tech was the best thing the new trilogy had going for it- how else do you explain a completely CG-villain who’s shtick is having four lightsabers? Even though it’s wrapping up three movies, Sith is almost too climactic, with the last 45 minutes or so turning into a big, glowing, senate seat-spinning blur.
But there’s some solid payoff to the character arcs along the way, with Anakin finally calling Obi Wan on his contradictory BS, and Obi Wan taking the high road by chopping off three of his best friend’s limbs. Sure, it has the luxury of reaping all that was sown over the course of Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, but Sith also takes measures to be the least offensive prequel in general, featuring a near complete absence of politics, angsty romance, and Jar Jar. Star Wars fans were sufficiently amused… but thought the Chewbacca cameo was as forced as it was stupid.
What It Says About You: You’re a completist and you like to see things through to the end. You watched all of Heroes and Prison Break, and read every Wheel of Time book. You even acknowledge the existence of the Matrix sequels. Quitting is for losers and whiners, advice you shout at Yoda every time he chickens out during the big fight with Palpatine. Knowing the whole picture means you’re better equipped to judge its individual components, and when looking at the rest of the saga, Sith reigns supreme.
Yes, the original movies have a cheesy charm, but you can only appreciate puppets at arms length, and whenever Luke talks, all you hear is The Joker. You think people are overreacting a little bit when they favorably compare fiery castration to watching Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones; they weren’t amazing, movies but hey, you’ve got to eat your vegetables to fully appreciate dessert. You are not rationalizing your investment in a subpar product; the ending for Lost made sense to you, and you know for a fact that the last seasons of Dexter and How I Met Your Mother will be totally worth it.
Favourite Star Wars Accessories: R2D2 coloured Xbox 360, loaded with a copy of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Soundbite: “No pain, no gain. Want to go lift in my basement and watch season two of The Killing?”
Favourite Movies: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Saw 3D
Country music legend Chely Wright and wife, Sony Music Exec, Lauren Blitzer-Wright talk about married life and what they are expecting this summer.
There were rumors abounding that Jessica Chastain was dating fellow redhead Tom Hiddleston, but alas, those rumors turned out to be false. However, for those following Chastain’s love life, it seems that she has been keeping her current beau a secret. She was pictured a couple of weeks ago [can be seen here] on New Years Eve in NYC with her boyfriend, but as the pictures were taken from the back, it wasn’t clear who the mystery man was. However, based on height and facial scruff, the man could be her ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ and ‘Lawless’ co-star Jason Clarke.
Chastain gave a special shout-out to Clarke during her Golden Globes acceptance speech, although she didn’t single out any other actors from the cast. She has previously spoken about her desire to keep her romantic life private, and she has also said that she wouldn’t date actors. Is she breaking her no-actor rule for Jason Clarke? We’ll likely soon find out as Chastain’s star is on the rise, and the unfortunate effect of that will be more paparazzi and public interest in her private life.
Chastain also recently spoke about winning the Golden Globe in an interview on the Today Show, saying, “I’m still you know, not quite used to it because it’s been within this week. A friend of mine told me I should just walk around with [the Globe] leading me.”
and thanks michelleantonia for the link ♥
In his new filmNecessary Death of Charlie Countryman,Shia LaBeouf plays a character who trips on acid. To make sure his depiction was accurate, LaBeouf dropped acid and filmed himself -- and then asked costarEvan Rachel Woodfor pointers!
During an interview withMTV at Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah for the mafia film, LaBeouf, 26, admitted he was "scared" to a play character who trips on acid because he'd "never done acid before." So, he decided to try it out for real and film his trip.
"I remember sending Evan tapes," he said. "I remember trying to conjure this and sending tapes and Evan being like, 'Yeah, that's good, but that's not, but this is, but that ain't.'"
"Not like I would know about these drugs!" Wood, 25, who is currently expecting her first child with husband Jamie Bell, interjected.
"Not like she's the expert on set," LaBeouf explained. "I'm just saying you reach out to friends and you sort of gauge where you're at. So I was sending tapes around. I'd get fifty percents from people, and that starts creeping me out, and I got really nervous. Towards the end, I was like . . ."
"It was spot on," Wood told her costar.
"That's what propels things like that -— being nervous that you're not going to get it right or it's not going to be honest," LaBeouf said. "You subject yourself to things and you can't choose your thoughts. You can't choose your feelings. But you can really influence them, and I just try to influence myself as much as possible."
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Gwyneth Paltrow is acting as a life coach to her close friend Cameron Diaz and has advised her to not get distracted by men and focus on herself this year.
Gwyneth Paltrow is acting as Cameron Diaz's life coach.
The 'Iron Man' actress is helping her friend - who turned 40 last August - make some major decisions and has advised her to give up men because Cameron's romantic liaisons ''distract'' her.
A source told The Sun newspaper: ''Gwyneth's sorted out everything from finances to hooking her up with her trainer. She has also forced her to swear off sex for a year, saying men distract her focus.''
The two friends have been spotted out together regularly in the past year - after having became close after the death of Gwyneth's TV producer father Bruce Paltrow in October 2002 - and Gwyneth, 40, previously hoped to find the perfect man for her bubbly pal.
A source explained: ''Gwyneth is a nurturer. Cameron is bummed about being single, so Gwyneth sees her as a project. She's trying to set her up with guys!''
The fun friends also gatecrashed a wedding show last year at the Sir Christopher Wren Hotel in Windsor, Southern England, while the blonde beauty was visiting the UK to promote her film 'The Counselor'.
‘Side Effects,’ Steven Soderbergh‘s alleged final film before retirement, already debuted multiple trailers featuring looks at the Rooney Mara- and Channing Tatum-led cast. The footage itself has been sort of a precursor mini-thriller in that we’re left wondering whether our ‘Girl With the Dragon Tattoo’ is crazy or her seemingly iffy therapist (Jude Law) has something to do with it. Well, now the plot thickens with more confusion as the new UK international trailer has debuted, revealing more bits of the story.
In ‘Side Effects,’ Mara’s character falls into a depression following her husband’s unceremonious imprisonment. Now that he’s released, she’s trying to move on with her life, though the issues remain the same. In steps Jude Law, her therapist who attempts to ease her recovery with medication. What ensues is a drama storm, including the prescription’s insane “side effects,” a presumed sexual element involving the good therapist, and even death.
The new ‘Side Effects’ trailer, recently released in the UK via The Guardian, attempts to help us figure things out for ourselves with its new plot-revealing footage. Though, it seems like once we think we’ve worked it all out, another element steps in to confuse us more. All in all, we’re excited to see how this psychological thriller unfolds when the film hits theaters on February 8.
Check out the brand-new trailer for ‘Side Effects’ below and give us your theories for the film in the comments.
Best known for her role in David Fincher's "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo," actress Rooney Mara made a striking enough impression in that role to earn herself a Best Actress nomination at the 2012 Oscars. Now highly sought after by Hollywood, her latest film is "Ain't Them Bodies Saints," a crime drama in which she stars as a young woman who goes on the run with her outlaw lover (Casey Affleck) in 1970s Texas.
Catching up with the young thesp at this weekend's Sundance Film Festival, where "Saints" made its big debut, HitFix spoke with Mara about what drew her to the project (the time period and the Texas landscape were two deciding factors, among other things), what it was like working with Affleck and directed David Lowery, and her thoughts on that supposed "Dragon Tattoo" sequel "The Girl Who Played With Fire."
Video won't embed, click on the gif for the full interview.
source | 1& 2& 3