It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Getting gift for people is tough. What do you get the brother that has everything he can ever want? What do you get your aunt that has the latest version of any technology?
Luckily, Neiman Marcus and God herself, Oprah,
who is famous for having a TV show, being the richest person in the world basically, and having her own magazine, has compiled a list of presents that you can buy your loved ones!
Pop quiz, hotshot. You're supposed to be rich enough to afford these things but you were too busy reading Playdude to realize that you're broke. What do you do? What do you do?
Luckily for you, I am
keeping tradition alive by compiling a list showing you what the holiday spirit means to Neiman Marcus and the not so expensive equivalentb.
For Your Niece: CURATED COLLECTION OF 36 CALDECOTT MEDAL—WINNING CHILDREN'S BOOKSPrice: $100,000
Give your niece this lovely collection of 36 first edition children's books! Books like
Jumanji,
My Friend Rabbit, and
The Polar Express can collect dust and crayon marks for absolutely reasonable price of 100,000 clams.
OR
A LIBRARY CARD
Price: Free
There's nothing quite like going irl outside to the library and borrowing the above mentioned children's books with your niece and showing her the great books you grew up with! Maybe the two of you can discover books you both may like!
For Your Mom:OPRAH'S POINSETTIA FLOWER POT CAKEPrice: $165
When you're completely out of ideas to what to get for your mom, get her what every mother wants. Food. While the flowers are edible, there's nothing that says "I put in little effort into buying you a present so I got you this expensive ass cake."
OR
MAKE YOUR OWNPrice: $6.00
=
Make a cake for your mom since getting her anything else is apparently not an option? It's not hard to bake a cake. You can even use boxed cake and frosting! Your mom would understand because if you're getting her a cake, her expectations for you are way down there. Or lie to her.
For Your Uncle EIGHT INCH SALT AND PEPPER MILLSPrice: $38, each
Your uncle only eat the finest of pepper, taken only from God's garden in Peru and Vietnam. Pepper that robust needs only the finest pepper mill. Luckily for your uncle, Le Creuset offers this pepper mill that has been obviously sharpened by Excalibur itself.
OR
MORTON AND MCCORMACK SALT AND PEPPER SHAKERSPrice: $1.99
Send a passive aggressive message to your uncle to invest in real spices.
For Your Sister:DE'LONGHI LIVENZA ALL DAY GRILLPrice: $300
Get your little sister this grill, it's perfect for dorm life! While it replaces three different appliances and can make great Belgian waffles with the recipe she got from her Belgian classmate, she's just gonna use it to make quesadillas and maybe warm up last night's pizza that was left out overnight but then again she can't be bothered to warm up pizza because she's so hung over. Maybe a grilled cheese to impress that girl she's trying to holler at that's passed out on her couch. Nah, room temp pizza is fine.
OR
HAMILTON BEACH BREAKFAST SANDWICH MAKERPrice: $19.99
Because your sister was never going to make those waffles anyway and she's hungry and broke (like you!) and the football team lost so she can't get that free sandwich from McDo.
For your Wife:EXCLUSIVE GRAMMY AWARDS EXPERIENCEPrice: $500,000
Tell your wife you hate her by sending her to the Grammys. On the bright side, she will see tons of musical celebrities, like Rihanna, Britney Spears, something called Pentatonix, Bruno Mars, and Justin Timberlake for some reason.
OR
LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSEPrice: Not 500,000 dollars.
Seriously, you hate her?
Source/Links to Buy!
NM- Children's BookFind Your Local Library Oprah's Poinsettia Pot Cake Oprah's Salt and Pepper MillsSalt and Pepper Shakers Oprah's All Day Grill Hamilton Beach Sandwich MakerNM- Grammy Experience Anything else for your wife